Dave Barry's Greatest Hits by Dave Barry

Last Minute Sales & Specials

WHEN DAVE BARRY IS ON THE LOOSE, NO ONE IS SAFE!

What Dave Barry did for the men's movement in his Complete Guide to Guys and for foreign relations when he did Japan he now does for ... everything in America. The rapacious observer of Tupperware ladies and leisure concept salesmen sounds off on:

Football -- Football is more than just a game. It is a potential opportunity to see a live person lying on the ground with a bone sticking out of his leg, while the fans, to show their appreciation, perform "the wave".

Sailing -- There's nothing quite like getting out on the open sea, where you can forget about the hassles and worries of life on land, and concentrate on the hassles and worries of life on the sea, such as death by squid.

Gambling -- Off-Track Betting parlors are the kinds of places where you never see signs that say, "Thank You for Not Smoking". The best you can hope for is, "Thank You for Not Spitting Pieces of Your Cigar on My Neck".